OutCasting Overtime; "Gay voice"

[Lauren] This is OutCasting Overtime, a special feature from OutCasting, public radio's LGBTQ youth program. OutCasting is heard online at outcastingmedia.org, on itunes, and a more than forty five public radio stations affiliated with the Pacifica radio network. Hi, I'm Lauren, a youth participant in OutCasting's main studio in Westchester County, New York. On this edition, OutCaster Alex shares his experience of the balance between trying to sound heterosexual and trying to sound gay and the internalized homophobia that comes with this. [Alex] I've been working on OutCasting for almost a year now. Of course it's been thrilling to hear my voice on a polished radio production, but in listening to recordings of myself, I've been forced to confront my voice for the first time, not only my clarity and emphasis but the actual quality and sound of my voice. To put it bluntly, I ask myself 'do I have gay voice?' Gay voice is the stereotyped high pitched and emotive voice that television shows give to their gay male characters to separate them from their straight counterparts. It

is an extension of the belief that gay men are more feminine than straight men. Often gay characters are used as comic relief or as a punchline for a cheap laugh. When a character has a clearly identifiable gay voice, it helps the audience understand, but it does this at the expense of being offensive and inaccurate. This small seemingly insignificant characteristic is a way to ostracize and exclude gay people on a superficial level. OutCasting is an LGBTQ radio program so many of us are gay. I am too. To some extent I do have a fear of having a gay voice. It doesn't come from a fear of being outed. I'm out all my close friends and my family, the people I care about. So I think that for me the fear comes from somewhere else. I often find myself conflicted whether or not I should try to pass as straight. It's pretty simple to change your voice. When I try to sound straight I talk with less emotion at a lower pitch and with a slightly different vocabulary. I'm not really sure if this works. When I think about

it I'm reminded that this is literally what homophobia is: a fear of being gay, being perceived as gay. Doing this gives me some security and control but it doesn't sound like me. It emotionally and spiritually betrays my sense of self. On the other side of the spectrum of gay voiceness, there's a push to sound more gay. When I turn on my colloquialisms and my exclamations my friends seem to react well. Being a quote unquote stereotype makes me more recognizable and strangely more relatable. I like when people laugh when I throw down the shade or when I become what is so familiar in media. I think it fulfils my subconscious need for attention as well as my fear of being forgotten. But I'm not completely sure if people are laughing at me or with me. And again it just isn't me. So there's a thin line between the two, both fueled by my social desire to fit in, and to be fair I probably do have gay voice, but I'm not ashamed of it. It's just my natural voice and something I unfortunately have begun to think critically of. A more introspective

way of considering 'do I have gay voice?' would be 'is my voice an accurate representation of my character?' and the answer is clear to me now. I should try to sound like me, not someone else, not more gay or less gay. I should focus less on my voice and more on what I'm actually saying because my intention and my words say far more than how I say it. [Lauren] Thanks for listening to OutCasting Overtime, a special feature from OutCasting, public radio's LGBTQ youth program. OutCasting is heard online at outcastingmedia.org, on itunes, and on more than forty five public radio stations around the country. OutCasting Overtime is a production of Media for the Public Good, a nonprofit organization. Visit us at outcastingmedia.org to get information about OutCasting, make you tax deductible donation, watch OutCasting videos, access our social media links, and listen to the show. Thanks, and thanks for listening.